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adverb: to competently express interest, surprise, disbelief, or contempt

False memory

“What knowledge or abilities would you choose to acquire if you could do so instantly, without effort or cost?”

This is a thought experiment in the style of those proposed by SavingNinja. The one thing asked of participants is for a stream of consciousness outpouring of thoughts rather than a carefully polished article. Here goes…

False memory

Somewhere in Australia’s arid outback, a tuneful male Zebra finch celebrated the early morning sunshine. Red beak, orange cheeks, and beige polka dot go-faster stripes contrasting dramatically with the muted grey plumage of his female mate.

On the branch next to the happy couple were a trio of baby finches. Grey beak and feathers, their initial colouring resembling that of their mother. The three attentively watched as their father serenaded the world with the same song his ancestors had been performing for thousands of years.

The most adventurous of the children eagerly puffed out his chest, arched his back, and attempted to emulate his father. The performance wasn’t going to win X-Factor any time soon. Definitely down the Year 1 Christmas concert end of the talent spectrum.

It was a beginning. With practice and repetition, the children would soon be giving credible performances. In six month’s time they would be teaching the song to their own children, father to son, down through the generations. It has ever been thus.

Meanwhile, in a soulless sterile university laboratory somewhere in Texas, researchers tried a different approach. They implanted a false memory into the brain of a captive baby Zebra finch, using a carefully encoded light sequence to stimulate the neurons responsible for forming memories.

The false memory contained a segment of a bird song.

A song markedly different from the songs of their ancestors.

A song the baby finch had never actually heard. The kind of tune no self-respecting Zebra finch would ever naturally sing. The avian equivalent of a Nickelback song.

This optogenetic stimulation overrode the songs the baby Zebra finch may have learned from other birds. However it did not appear to impact the normal seemingly random beeps and chirps that finches make while going about their day.

A glimpse into the future

When I saw the headline about the researchers successfully implanting false memories I was equal parts intrigued and horrified.

Imagine if acquiring new understanding was as simple as downloading a file! One moment you’re as amateurish, bumbling, and ignorant as the average everyman. The next you instantly become as knowledgeable as the world’s leading experts in whatever niche subject you happened to be interested in.

Master high school calculus in a heartbeat, without all the studying and revision.

Learn to speak a foreign language in the blink of an eye. Learn to understand them all.

Become only the third person in history to have both read and fully understood Stephen Hawking’s “A brief history of time”.

Of course, for practical activities, there would still be a skills gap. You may now remember all the technique, training, and conditioning that Eliud Kipchoge or Yoyo Ma have learned. However, that wouldn’t mean you could run a two-hour marathon or successfully perform as a cello soloist during the Proms.

Balance. Conditioning. Dexterity. Muscle memory. Stamina. Strength. All those hard-won aspects of actually having done the work over many years would still be missing.

However, you could possess the knowledge necessary to repair your own car.

Build your own house.

Complete your own taxes.

Write your own computer programs, or fix the rubbish produced by the “fail fast, Minimal Viable Product and ship” crowd.

If such a technology existed, what things would you learn? What skills would you choose to acquire?

You could instantly possess the consolidated knowledge of every stock market guru and investing genius. Even then I suspect you couldn’t reliably beat the market, luck and access to insider information plays a much larger part than many would care to admit!

Maybe you would devour the collective wisdom of every self-help and wellness book ever written. Perhaps you could even validate my theory that contentment equals successful expectation management, and happiness is an experience that can be enjoyed but not manufactured on demand.

Any knowledge-based profession with guild like membership restrictions and continuous professional development obligations could be rendered vulnerable overnight. Suddenly the punters would know as much (or as little!) as the experts. The value of those skills transitioning immediately from preciously scarce to pure commodity.

Service providers would become a mere convenience, like a housekeeper, rather than an essential trusted advisor the way that many financial advisors market themselves today.

Of course there is a big difference between being able to remember something, and being able to apply that knowledge successfully. If it were truly that simple then anyone could do it.

The question is could elements of judgement, reasoning, and the application of experience also be implanted? I expect it would be complicated, and I don’t pretend to understand the science involved, but I certainly wouldn’t bet against it becoming possible one day.

A glance back at the past

The more I thought about the potential applications of memory implantation, the more I realised this experiment was really just an extension of what already we already do. Same outcome, only faster.

We used to read books and complete degrees to learn things. Now those same authors and teachers give all their good stuff away for free on blogs and podcasts, begging for our attention rather than charging us for their time.

We used to do apprenticeships to learn a skill or trade. Now we watch instructional videos on YouTube. Few of them are good, but many are “good enough” for performing just-in-time repairs.

We used to seek out wiser, more experienced heads to coach and mentor us down our chosen path. Now we find our tribes and communities of like-minded people on the internet. No membership fees, professional accreditation, or tithing required.

Providing we were willing to do the work, there is no good reason why we couldn’t all become qualified financial planners or wealth managers. Whether we would want to is a different question!

The books are long. Dull. Theoretical. Reading them does not make a person proficient.

The exams required for attaining professional accreditation are expensive. Passing them does not make a person competent.

These are barriers to entry, designed to create an element of self-selection amongst potential candidates.

  • Enough money to pay for it.
  • Good enough English to be able to comprehend it.
  • Received sufficient education to be able to study, retain, and reproduce it.
  • Fortunate enough to have secured a position in an existing firm, in order to gain the required professional experience. Looking and sounding enough like “one of us” to be accepted.

There are ways around the first three in that list. The final one proves insurmountable for many.

Who can we trust?

The thing that gave me pause about the potential of this technology was the question of which false memories would we allow to be implanted in our heads?

Who would we trust?

What perspectives and biases would we be unconsciously accepting as a consequence?

People have enough trouble distinguishing fake news, opinion, and conjecture from fact already amongst the constant torrent of attention stealing click-bait. Misinformation. Misrepresentation. Misstatements. Outright lies.

If implanting memories became as simple, and required as little effort, as watching television then there would be ample scope for the masses to be led astray by propaganda and agendas. Anyone could potentially wield the same power once exclusively enjoyed by media moguls and heads of state.

How would we be able to tell the fiction from fact? Our filters and critical thinking help prevent noise or harmful memories from being retained. This technology would potentially bypass those.

What happens when advertising becomes embedded in memories?

How about malware?

Today the science required to make any of this possible appears to be a long way off.

It turns out the Zebra finch in the lab had been genetically modified to make it receptive to the implanting of false memories via encoded light sequences. That in itself is a remarkable scientific achievement, with fascinating potential and implications that are more than a little unsettling.

I suspect it is a question of when, rather than if, this technology will some day arrive. Bring with it boundless opportunity for betterment and understanding. Also presenting limitless risk that the same shysters and charlatans who clamour for our attention and compete for our wallets today will be right there in the thick of it.


  • Hale, T. (2019), ‘Scientists Implant New Memories Into A Songbird’s Brain’, IFL Science
  • Hawking, S. (1988), ‘A brief history of time‘, Bantam Books
  • Olena, A. (2019), ‘Researchers Implant Memories in Zebra Finch Brains’, The Scientist
  • Zhao, W., Garcia-Oscos, F., Dinh, D., Roberts, T.F. (2019) ‘Inception of memories that guide vocal learning in the songbird’, Science

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  1. weenie 7 November 2019

    Interesting thought experiment, but I have to say that all I could think of wanting was knowledge/know-how of all those different martial arts, ie like Neo in The Matrix!

    Not very useful in the real world I know!

  2. Dr FIRE 7 November 2019

    No mention of what skills you would want to learn in an instant??

    Your final section, “who can we trust?” reminds me of Brave New World, which coincidentally I’ve only recently finished reading. If you haven’t read it, the background is that most humans are raised similar to how you described, conditioned to believe in a certain set of ideals to supposedly make for a perfect society. Interestingly though, most of the citizens of that world are unaware of their conditioning, and are portrayed as much happier as a result. If that power is wielded in such a way that most people are happier in the future (but perhaps, are no longer in control of their own lives/autonomy to the same extent) is that so bad? I’m not saying that I believe this or not, just playing devil’s advocate!

    • {in·deed·a·bly} 7 November 2019 — Post author

      Interesting observation Dr FIRE.

      Are we not all already socially conditioned without realising it?

      For example: Democracy is better than the alternative. Capitalism trumps the other approaches. Smoking is bad, alcohol is probably bad, but caffeine and sunscreen are ok (or have better lobbyists). Stay in school, work hard, get ahead, pay your taxes, make a contribution, earn a nice comfortable retirement courtesy of the state some day.

      We unconsciously accept all sorts of these basic assumptions, allowing them to impose boundaries and influence our understanding of what is “normal”.

      Take former Speaker Bercow’s interview yesterday as a topical example. He felt he had to give it to a foreign media outlet because none of the domestic alternatives would have fairly or accurately portrayed his views. Yet how many people within the UK readily accept what those same media outlets report as “fact” without stopping to consider the agendas and perspectives behind the editorial lines taken?

  3. [HCF] 7 November 2019

    Technology is always a double edge sword. For example nuclear power technology (however it is controversial) in good hands, doing it right would provide (relatively) green energy for humankind. Misuse it and it could end life on Earth pretty soon. The only thing we can be sure about is that if a technology can be used for questionable outcomes someone will try to do so. That’s why this memory implantation is so interesting, powerful, controversial and highly represented in many sci-fi books and movies from the Matrix all the way to Inception and many others. As you stated it is both interesting and frightening and has as much good possibilities as bad ones.
    As an answer to the question I would say that on the knowledge part I would devour everything from economy to psychology and physics. This would allow me to understand how does the world work and how could we fix it 🙂

    • {in·deed·a·bly} 7 November 2019 — Post author

      Thanks HCF. I accept the knowledge would help you to understand, but if fixing things were that easy then would those who already have the knowledge not have done it already? Getting people to change is hard.

      • [HCF] 7 November 2019

        I don’t think that there are folks who have all the puzzle pieces in their minds to achieve a holistic understanding these days. The age of polyhistors is long gone so I think the problem is that the one who can understand, the one who can solve, and the one who could carry out the change are rarely the same person and not even close to each other (and probably has very different motivations).
        Also, I agree, change is very hard to even on the individual level, let alone on higher levels of the emergence tower.

  4. SavingNinja 11 November 2019

    I’d implant a deep understanding of the worlds first-principles of cooking! There’s must be so much knowledge in each locality of cuisine that isn’t well represented due to the bloat of the internet. Thinking of all of the amazing tastes I’ve not yet experienced makes me drool!

    Very interesting Thought Experiment, this technology will definitely flip everything on its head but it will certainly raise the quality bar.

    Instead of increasing life expectancy, reduce the amount of time it takes to learn.

    • {in·deed·a·bly} 11 November 2019 — Post author

      Good call SavingNinja. Make every meal a masterpiece.

      The real question is whether my kids would still insist on fish fingers and pizza, while avoiding at all cost those dreaded “vege-terribles“?

What say you?

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